so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
