There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Randomize