Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
