you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
