CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
