I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
