Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
