He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
