the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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