Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
