doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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