How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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