that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
