I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
