found the other keg... it's in the tree
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
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He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
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Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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