Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
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Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
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I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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