you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Jerry, you need to find god
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
