Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
