There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
