and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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