i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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