Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
