what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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