we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
