I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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