I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize