And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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