So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
