Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
