did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
