did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
