I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I need help removing her.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my vag is so smooth its legendary
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
