We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
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Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
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I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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