Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
