This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
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