anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize