I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.