My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear