i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...