thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all