with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.