This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
