Is it normal to miss your booty call?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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