she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
