So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
