I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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