He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
