He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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