Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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