Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
