I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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