Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
