Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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