Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Text me some of your sweat
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
