My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
