Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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