i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
