Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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