that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
