I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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